BlUeMiSt

     I had been down with a fever since friday and now it’s already tuesday. The fever comes at night and go off in the day time.. on and off, on and off! Almost half of my cell group people is either down with sickness and flu and guess what!! SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!! I hate the idea that i’m losing in this warfare especially when i’m their leader. I prayed and tried to sleep early and guess what. I laid on my bed from 12 midnight till 4am and after popping some medicine (supposed to make me drowsy), i’m still wide awake!! How can that be??!! To make things worst, i off all my fan and cover myself with thick layers of blankets but i don’t perspire at all!! I haven’t perspire the past few days!! WHAT"S WRONG WITH ME??!!

    ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I hate to be played out by the devil cos sickness is from the devil. Time to fight back! I geared myself up in my thickest wind-breaker and start the "fight". Time ~ 430am….I ran round my house, did all the static exercise that i can think of; Sit up, push up, flutter kick, unarmed combat stunt. Did it again and again until finally i perspired non stop!! It’s great to sweat it out, felt so refreshed!! Time ~5.11am. Finally I started to feel sleepy. Time to take a hot shower and sleep!! Goodbye Fever!! Goodbye Devil!!

The world perspective on leadership is that when they look at leadership, they see very person of the leader; his strength, his talent, his gift, etc. But in the perspective of God’s kingdom, we bypass the person and look beyond the person. We see the grace and mercy of God.

~1 Corinthians 1:27
But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

God has a lot to say regarding unity!! In the New Testament, Bible says "WITH God ALL things are possible!" Over here we see a unity between God WITH man and the result is, "ALL Things are POSSIBLE" ~Powerful, Earth shaking and History Making! In the Old Testament, the Bible says " And the LORD said, “Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them."~ Genesis 11:6. Over here we have a situation whereby the people act against the will of God and are not even in the will of God. But God make a startling statement, that when the people are UNITED as one, NOTHING will be withheld from them. That’s the tremendous power of unity. They were on their way to did something earth shaking and history making.

So how did God stop all this?He did not send earthquake nor strike them with lighting. All God did was to confuse their language and that’s when unity becomes disunity. Speaking the same language is so important when unity is concern. When Pastor says let’s go for growth in cg or let’s go all out to reach out to our friends, let us also speak the same langauge. Let it not be when our leaders say let’s reach out, we say we wanna rest. Let it not be when our leaders say let’s come together and pray for our friends, we say i’m can’t make it. So let’s speak the same language and "Indeed the people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them", what more when now we have God with us~ "WITH God ALL things are possible!"

All the lights were off, everything checked and time to rush off for my long awaited conference with Pastor Phil. Was walking towards the office recept like any other time and for a split second, the air in front of me solidified and formed an invisible transparent wall. Too late, it was all too late. The very next moment, shock gripped me and one question raced through my mind as my face glued to that invisible soldified air.. "What is this??!! What happened?? Something hit me, what issit? How come i don’t see anything at all?" The next thing i knew, my face was stucked against the glass door which was usually left opened. Somehow today a colleague of mine decided to play a prank on me and closed it. Tooth was broken into half, gums bled and nose bridge swelled. It’s totally devastating!! When i saw my members at Expo, I jokingly told them that I’d met with a spiritual resistance (spiritual cos it is invisible to my naked eyes). Throughout the whole incident, one thing that really provoked me was how come i sustained so much damaged but the door didn’t even budged an inch. In my heart, a fire burnt within.. I would rather broke more teeth, broke my head but I wanted to see the door shattered!! I wanted it to suffer more damage than i had. Service started…. God spoke… I began to understand that our spiritual walk is somewhat similar. Spiritual resistance, crisis and trials won’t shout "Look out, we are ahead, get ready for impact!" Walking towards the recept is just like living our daily live, but who knows out of nowhere a glass door just appear when you are least expected. Time for impact!! Of all the teeth i have, one broke!! Why this tooth? I began to understand that during the moment of SUDDEN confrontation like this, the inner life begin to manifest outwardly. The lack in inner strength of this particular tooth manifested it’s weakness by an outward manifestation of breaking into half which further broke into pieces. Now the original was gone and tomolo i will have to fixed it with a imitation one! Pastor preach about prayer!! That’s what the inner life and strength of a believer comes from. Start praying and build up that inner man cos the day of spiritual warfare, crisis and trial is like this invisible glass door, your face is sticking against it even without you knowing about it. That’s when strength determine the victory. I have lost a tooth here, but what if it’s a destiny that was lost?

^"Go therefore  and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen."

       I was giving BS to one of my member stephanie. It was the topic on discipleship. Never expect the BS to turn out so well, the presence of God is so strong and wow!! I was sharing with her about the various disciples such as Peter, James, John, Thomas, Philip,etc. As I was sharing about them, the presence of God came so strongly and i just feel goosebump upon goosebump and was almost moved to tear. Suddenly i was reminded of the last verse in the Great Commission "and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen." Suddenly it just dawn upon me that indeed the promise of his presence is so true, not just true, but eternal (till the end of age). The disciples were closest to Jesus’ heart because they were the one that embrace the Great commission and laid down their lives for the Great Commission. Many a time, i just thought that the promise of His presence get as real as in our very present life (while we are still alive in the mist of doing mission work). But today this scripture begin to birth forth another perspective. As i was sharing about the dicsiples and how they died for the sake of the Great Commission, the presence of God came so strongly. Suddenly i realised that it is because of that promise of presence that even up till today whenever the name and story of these disciple who had embraced the Great Commission were mentioned,  His presence simply abides. Even though they were dead, but God still remain true to His promise of His abiding presence..WOW!!! Let’s make His Commission our mission.

Was reading a book by Pastor Ulf Ekman… it is written "The The main thing is not you have a certain ministry but that you are a child of God and have the spirit of adoption by who you cry, " Abba Father!" You are a child of God and that God is the one who has anointed you!" Great Book! must grab hold of it!

"You’re looking into my heart…" as this part of the song was sang repeatedly, the lyrics begin to sink deeper and deeper into my heart. suddenly fear and unworthiness just grip my heart so tightly. Suddenly the realisation that Jesus is looking into my heart, a heart that is full far from His holiness, a heart that is proud, a heart that is quick to judge, a heart that is birth forth in iniquity becomes so real. It feels terrible. I cried out to Jesus not to look anymore cos the more He look, the more i feel ashamed.I wanted to run away. My heart cries out…Jesus, please stop looking.. I’m not worthy of You fixing Your Holiness on my unworthiness. My heart cried out..please Jesus, don’t do that. Suddenly i was reminded that the the ultimate revelation is that God is merciful, that Jesus is merciful. The revelation of His mercy and the realisation of the condition of my heart grieved me so much that I wept and wept. For once after so long that i begin to wept so audibly with a loud voice of grief. Many a time when we saw something unsightly, we just turn our eyes away and not wanting to take another look. But over here, Jesus the Holiest of all is looking at the ultimate fallen heart of man, a heart that is dirtied by sin. Because Jesus love me. He love that heart and wanted to heal it. He love it so much that He gave His blood to clean up the mess. Suddenly i begin to understand how Peter might possibly felt at the moment when Jesus looked at Him at the instant He denied Him for the third time. I begin to realise the true meaning behind worship… His mercy towards a undeserving me.. His everlasting grace. I love Jesus…